we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize