sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
