my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
