We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
