There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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