If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
