turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
