Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize