What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
