eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
