he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i think my cat just said my name.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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