So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
