was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
