batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
