one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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