i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
