and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
