i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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