Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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