we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
