Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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