My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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