So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dick very happy bro
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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