Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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