NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
