I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
