She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
