They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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