yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
