i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
