420 ftw
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
