I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
