just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
