For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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