I cockslap morals
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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