Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
