They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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