Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i will never coherently bang her
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
