Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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