i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize