and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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