He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
