did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
