grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
