Please, let me fuck your mom
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
