so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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