Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
