It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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