The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
