apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
