Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
