so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize