So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
