As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
