I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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