Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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