What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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